Friendly Fire

No matter what stage of life you are in, you will encounter moments of betrayal, injustice, or rejection that cause significant emotional pain and distress - sometimes it will be “friendly fire” from fellow believers.

It’s not easy to be wounded and betrayed by someone you trusted – “the pain can leave you feeling as though you cannot trust God and forgive others. However, it's essential to recognize that this pain does not reflect the absence of God's love or presence in our lives. Instead, it offers a profound opportunity for spiritual growth and deepening our faith.”

As one author continues, “The Scriptures remind believers that God intimately understands human grief. The writer of Hebrews reminds us that ‘we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities’ (Hebrews 4:15). The prophet Isaiah's description of Jesus as ‘a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief’ (Isaiah 53:3) serves as a powerful testament to the compassion of the Lord, who willingly bore the depths of human pain. This understanding of human suffering underlines Jesus's invitation for individuals to seek comfort in Him.”

‘Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light’ (Matthew 11:28-30)

“When facing emotional pain, it's understandable to grapple with anger and thoughts of retaliation. However, it's important to address our circumstances with a spiritual perspective. As Ephesians 6:12 reminds us, our challenges encompass not only the physical and emotional but also the spiritual.

Furthermore, it may seem easier to suppress our hurt and tell ourselves to ‘move on,’ but this approach often leads to deeper emotional and spiritual issues. It's crucial to acknowledge and confront the pain inflicted by others. One effective way to do this is by seeking solace in the presence of God. As David expressed in a poignant song, being in God's presence brings a sense of completeness and joy, offering a path toward healing and restoration (see Psalm 16).”

Eight things we can learn about “Friendly Fire”

Christians will hurt your feelings.

“Because of the fall, this will happen. Sometimes a person acts with malicious intent, desiring to hurt you because they don’t like you or they’ve chosen to be offended by you. Other times they will hurt you without realizing it.”

When others hurt you, your spiritual maturity will be revealed.

“You will discover how real your relationship with Jesus Christ is when your feelings get hurt. You can be the greatest speaker, the greatest worshipper, or the greatest evangelist, but when your feelings are hurt, what you do at that moment and afterward will reveal the reality of your relationship with Jesus.

People have one of two reactions when their feelings get hurt: they deal with it before the Lord, or they destroy others.”

God intends to use mistreatments for our good.

“Recall the mistreatment that Joseph endured at the hands of his own brothers. Joseph took it from the hand of God, saying, ‘Ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good.’

Remember King David when Abishai cursed him? David chose not to kill his detractor, but instead he saw the persecution in light of God’s sovereign hand.

To paraphrase Romans 8:28, everything that comes into our lives, whether good or evil, first passed through the hands of a sovereign, loving God before it got to us. And He uses it for our good.

Once you make peace with God’s sovereignty and His ability to write straight with crooked lines, the more at peace you will be with those who mistreat you. While God is not the author of confusion or evil, He seeks to use all things for our transformation.”

Christians often get offended by reading into words and actions.

“This usually happens when a person is oversensitive and thin-skinned. In my experience, this makes up most cases in which a Christian takes offense at another believer.

As a group, Christians are the most easily offended people in the world when we should be the least.”

Christians often get offended with a person when they believe false accusations against them.

“Wise and discerning Christians who have been around the block ignore gossip that puts other believers in a bad light. In fact, in the eyes of the wise and discerning believer, any statement that has a defamatory tone is discredited out of the gate.

When wise and discerning believers are concerned about someone, they go straight to the person privately as Jesus taught us to do, asking questions rather than making allegations.

Some Christians, however, never think to do this. Instead, they readily believe slanderous allegations about a sister or brother in Christ without ever going to that person first.

The question ‘How would I want to be treated if someone were saying these things about me?’ never seems to occur to them. The life of Jesus Christ always leads us to live that question. The flesh always leads us in the opposite direction.

Remember, Satan is the slanderer (that’s what ‘Devil’means), and he uses gossip to destroy relationships. That’s why the Bible says that believing gossip separates close friends and that one of the seven things the Lord hates is ‘sowing seeds of discord among brethren.’”

What you do with a hurt is a choice you make.

“You can choose to be offended and make a friend out of your hurt, feed it, take it out for daily walks, cuddle it, and protect it until it destroys you and others. A root of bitterness, if allowed to live, will defile many and prove destructive to your own spirit.

You can also choose to be offended and retaliate actively or passively.

Or you can choose to live by Christ and bring your hurt to God. Sometimes the Lord will lead you to go to the person and talk to them in a gracious manner, seeking reconciliation.

Other times He will lead you to forebear it, take it to the cross, let it go, and move on.

Sometimes He will show you that you’ve completely misinterpreted the actions of another.”

To be offended by a child of God is to be offended by God.

“When Jesus began preaching in His hometown of Nazareth, He offended His neighbours. They stumbled over Him and rejected who He really was.

When you choose to take offense at another Christian, you are rejecting who they are in Christ. Thus, it affects your relationship with Jesus, whether you realize it or not. Why?

Because Christ and His body are connected – ‘inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.’

Again, I’m not equating being offended with being hurt.”

You can live free from offense.

“This doesn’t mean that you will never be hurt. Nor does it mean that you will never be angry.

The Lord has called us to the high road of living without offense. And He has given us both the power and the will to do His good pleasure in this area.”

Are we willing to risk our pride in order to love as God does? Godly love turns others to Jesus. Let’s be a body of believers who truly know how to extend God’s unconditional love and forgiveness to believers and unbelievers alike. It’s the only way others will know we really are followers of Jesus.